Indline, as docile as a boiled Chicken Korma?

As a member of the OCC, this is my second review of a restaurant. After a great first album, it’s

evident that I don’t perform Under Pressure. I do a lovely Bohemian Rhapsody though…

This review of ‘Indline’, located at 28 Keong Saik Road, Singapore 089135 is the latest by the Oakham

Curry Club (OCC), Singapore branch.

“At Indline we offer Indian meals consisting of mean curries and phenomenal naans. Come and

experience the comfortable and laid back atmosphere of a contemporary Indian cookery with a

dynamic service option. With maximum seating capacity of up to 50 persons, Indline cookery can also

cater to company events and mini functions.”

The OCC is a well-respected Institution with multiple international franchises. The OCC takes pride in

searching out the finest Indian restaurants and providing impartial reviews of Curry Houses all over

the world. Members vote anonymously without being influenced by other members (we call this “no

swaying”) on 5 categories, and an average score out of a maximum 10 is given to each restaurant we

review. Restaurants must score an average of 7/10 or above to receive the OCC sticker of

recommendation. All OCC members have been through a rigorous selection process to gain entry

into the Club. In short, we all know our curries.

Do we enjoy appointing the club to judicially appoint the scores? I’ll let you, the reader, be the judge

of that!

Quality: 5.71

Customer care: 6.56

Value: 6.89

Service: 6.44

Atmosphere: 4.72

With an overall score of 6.06, the restaurant is not awarded an OCC sticker.

I’m not a competitive person, I’ll be the first to admit that. Let’s hope Indline are as docile as a boiled

chicken korma;

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Breadcake: Hello, welcome to the inaugural episode of the OCC Singapore podcast. In this podcast,

we will speak to restauranteurs, chili enthusiasts, culinary stars and anyone who likes a good old

curry. We’ll delve into our guests’ experiences at curry houses from around the globe. I’m

Breadcake, and as your host, I’m delighted to announce that the first guest is a great friend of mine -

A man in his 40s who has recently moved to Singapore. As the new drive time host of Singapore’s

premier internet based radio station, today’s guest will be coming in your ears Monday to Friday, 4

till 7. Join me in giving an OCC welcome to Sir Alan Gordon Partridge.

Sir Alan Gordon Partridge (SAGP): Ah. I wouldn’t go in there for a bit. Leave it about fifteen minutes.

I must say, I’m tremendously excited by all this.

BC:

SAGP: Hit me! Hit me! Hit me with your rhythm stick! It’s nice to be a lunatic. Hi Breadcake.

BC: Thanks for joining Alan. You’ve been in Singapore a few days now, how are you finding it? Have

you managed to sneak in a quick curry yet?

SAGP: Before we kick off.. I must say Susan (Sound assistant), I like those earrings. Are they gold?

Susan: Yes, they’re rose gold. I bought them in Orchard yester….

SAGP: Well that’s not really gold, is it? But, er, they’re very nice. Like little tears, little wax tears

dripping from your ears because they’re sad. Don’t cry, ears! You’re on the side of a lovely head!

Anyway, yes. Singapore, oooh it’s warm. Sticky. You should have seen the back of my shirt 20

minutes ago. Wet through it was. Wasn’t it Lynn! Wet sodding through! To answer your question on

curry, I went to Indline last night (19th Feb 2021)

BC: Oh, that’s fantastic, how was it? What did you eat?

SAGP: Breadcake, before we chat curry, I’m meeting Tony Hayers this evening at some 4 floors place

and, well, in the internet radio world, he’s Mr Numero, er… one. Breadcake, i’ll cut to the chase. I

have some rude daubings on the side of my car,

Breadcake: Tosser?

SAGP: No. That’d work, but it actually says, Cock, Piss, Partridge.

Breadcake:

SAGP:

Breadcake: I’ll get Michael to fix it. He’s a Geordie btw. Been here years, didn’t leave after the war.

Think’s its still going on. Anyway, back to Indline, who did you go with, is your wife with you yet?

SAGP: No. Oh God no! Carol!? No.. She’s living with a fitness instructor. He provides her with all of

the, erm… sexual, er… intercourse. He drinks that yellow stuff in tins. He’s an idiot! I went with Lynn.

Say hello Lynn.

Lynn: Hi

BC: Hi Lynn.

SAGP: Lynn is my PA. She’s a good worker, but I suppose she’s a bit like Burt Reynolds. Very reliable,

but she’s got a moustache.

BC: So how was the curry?

SAGP: It was ok, but it certainly wasn’t the Bravo Two Zero by Andy McNabb of curry houses. For a

start, I like my tandoori chicken burnt to the crisp, apro po, they can only be identified by their

dental records.

BC: Apro Po?

SAGP: Come on Breadcake, you need a basic grasp of Latin to host a podcast!

BC: Sorry. Back to the chicken..

SAGP: Can you finger print a chicken?

BC:

SAGP: I’m enjoying this. Lovely chat. Top stuff.

BC: How was the service?

SAGP: It started badly, it got worse.. who, who, whoooo do they think they are! As I said, it wasn’t

my favourite curry.

BC: You’re a well-travelled man Alan. Norwich, bare feet to Dundee and erm.. and now Singapore.

Any favourite curry houses?

SAGP: Went to Gaggan. Shook Gaggan’s hand. Superb. My marriage fell apart soon after. Listen, do

you like Owls… Forget that, there’s a buffet in my hotel tonight and I’ve got a scam going with a big

plate. Fancy being my co-eater?

BC: Sure. Where you staying?

SAGP: King Road…. Ten. Ten! Ten King Road. It’s the Linton Travel Tavern. It’s not Raffles, but it’s

certainly competitive.

BC: Great value: Speaking of which, how did you find Indline with value in mind, safe to say it was

more expensive than Norwich?

SAGP: Ah value. I once bought a tartan flask for 5 English pounds. Had it years and sadly left it

behind a large boulder on Ben Nevis. Actually, that’s where my son was conceived. Mortifying

thought, but I suppose we grew to like him.

BC: The Indline? How was the restaurant?

SAGP: Speaking of restaurants. There’s a curry house in Norwich, the owner thinks he’s Rod Stewart.

Anyway, it has really interesting toilets… lots of graffiti! In fact, someone had drew a lady’s part.

Lovely! Very detailed. The guy obviously had talent! What a waste!

BC: And Indline?

SAGP: It was ok.

BC: Can you smell Gas?

SAGP: I’ve just had a scotch egg!

BC: Appreciate if we can get back on track, can you summarise the overall Indline experience Alan?

SAGP: It was like going to London on the train.. Stay with me…, you stop at Rejection,

Disappointment, Back Stabbing Central and finish at Shattered Dreams Parkway. Right now I need 2

positives. One to cancel out the negative of the evening and the other one, you know, just so I can

have a positive.

BC: We got there in the end. That was an absorbing conversation Alan..

SGAP: Sorry, if this is finishing, I’ve got to fit this in. I’ve really got to say this as I’m contractually

obliged. Chocolate Oranges are available from Rawlinsons…

BC:

SGAP: Leaves to the tune of his Black Beauty ringtone

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Never Apologise! Never Explain!” – Sorry, that’s my motto.

Sadly, I have to go, I’ve accidentally booked myself onto an escapology course and I can’t get out of

it.

Ps. The OCC’s door is always open, so if you know how to fix hinges that’d be great. Also, you can

check out our other reviews and check back each month for the latest on the Singapore curry scene.