Right Bagaicha - sideways!

Sometimes you look back at certain life experiences and think “Christ that was Crap”.

Red flags were evident from the beginning:

The restaurant described itself as a “Party Palace”;
The business plan of the restaurant is publicly available on the website;
The OCC member who chose this delightful restaurant decided not to show;
Although describing itself as an Indian restaurant, pictures of the cuisine at the tastefully decorated exterior included Pizza.

Anyway, the troops of the OCC gamely entered and were greeted to what could be best described as an L shaped village hall.

I was instantly struck by the walls adorned with various pieces of classic artwork including “the Mona Lisa”. This was certainly a unique party palace.

The men of the OCC commented on the beauty of the fairy lights and batteries hanging above us, although sadly when we asked for them to light up our dining experience, we were told they do not work.

It was not lost on me that this was the first time I had been to a restaurant which included a large glittery stage with self-described “love chairs” sitting to the side. Furthermore, the stage was being prepared for a late night baby shower, although the expected guests also seemed to have given this Indian / Italian fusion restaurant a miss. I was certainly in new territory.

Anyway, food was ordered and I was tasked with operating the self-service beer tap for my end of the table.

Again, rather uniquely the food arrived in a kind of tasting menu drip feed format. The “Chicken Popcorn” will live long in the memory as I mulled over exactly how many times this had been re-fried over the last fortnight.

A particular treat was a sole plate of lemons (no doubt a regional Indian delicacy), and I must say the mayonnaise dip to accompany the onion rings was in absolute congruence to the entire restaurant.

The Party Palace speaker system did on the face of it look impressive, however this was somewhat tempered by the tinny sole speaker equivalent to an I-phone, belting out some classic Bryan Adams (one of the few highlights).

Anyway the meet duly progressed with the normal hi-jinx and a new song about managing warehousing inventory was well received by all. TJP VII lack of understanding of a very simple game of subtraction earning him a painful 3rd chili of the night, which at least did help to quell the lingering after taste of the aforesaid Chicken Popcorn.

Just prior to the night concluding, the mother to be did indeed show up for her late night baby shower. I feel worried for the child.

I think the night was best summed up by Sideways Eddie, who advised “that you have to go to some shit places in order to find some good places”. Never a truer word has been spoken in this case.

I left to the pleasant overtures of the ageing prostitutes soliciting outside the restaurant.

Senior Pepe Lopez has a lot to answer for.

Anon.